What Happened When I Stopped Rushing

As I slowed down, I started doing things with more intention. That meant everything from getting out of the car slowly, to cultivating more patience with my kids. At one point. Chris (who is usually the slower one between us) asked me what I was doing, and I calmly said, "I'm taking my time." That felt so unlike me, but it also felt good to have a literal change of pace.

I once read that anxious people tend to overload our schedules. We fill every hour because sitting still feels uncomfortable. I recognized myself completely in that. While I've done a lot of work over the years (meditation, therapy, learning to be present) I had let the rushing creep back in. I would disguise it as productivity, or I'd point to my obligations, and I'd say yes to everyone to show how helpful I could be. But deep down, it was the same old hurry.    

Taking that time off made me see the cost of rushing more clearly. The funny thing is, you often can't notice that you're rushing unless you stop. But the moment you do, it's obvious how dysregulated the pace of a typical day actually feels.